Why Do Caregivers Need Self Care? Part three

Imagine you’re sitting quietly in a meeting or religious services; suddenly your heart starts pounding. You feel like your blood is coursing through the veins in your arms and legs. It’s bewildering and scary: Why?!  There is nothing about this setting that calls for such a reaction.  Yet, you have this reaction. It is important that caregivers understand what leads to this reaction  and what they can do about it.

It’s a “fight or flight response gone wrong.  It developed when we had to run away from Saber Tooth Tigers.  Our ancestors were successful, that’s why we’re here.  Those ancestors passed down to us their methods of coping with their world.  Our modern world doesn’t have the same kinds of stressors, especially for caregivers.  Our stressors are less clearly defined  And they last longer.  Our stressors change shape; one minute we’re dealing with the house-the spouse-the kids-and-the job.  Then there’s a crisis and we’re caregivers for Mom!  From that point forward, our caregiving increases but with no way to know when the need will become greater or how long caregiving will last. 

Our bodies respond as our ancestors’ once did; we produce Cortisol to rise to this crisis.  The process goes like this: Stress causes the Hypothalamus to secrete.  That triggers the Pituitary Gland to secrete.  The Adrenal gland secretes Cortisol.  This process has several names: HPA Axis, HPA Cascade or Syndrome X, or AKA Insulin Resistive Syndrome.  (Wouldn’t it be helpful if we could all agree on one name?)  It’s not the crisis that’s the problem.   It’s the crisis that doesn’t end that creates bad effects on caregivers.

The effects show up in different ways. Cortisol encourages promotes fat deposits in the outer layer of the body, especially the waist. Some caregivers gain weight.  We can measure this effect by doing a BMI (Body Mass Index). Other caregivers have different conditions; heart disease, Type-2 Diabetes and Stroke.   We can measure Cholesterol levels through a C-Reactive Protein lab test.  We can also do a cheek swab to check Cortisol level. However, how many doctors don’t even ask patients if they are caregivers.   The tests are there but they are not used to evaluate identified caregivers at this time on a general basis. You need to ask for them.

When our bodies rise to meet a crisis: they must also let down.  Even Saber Tooth Tigers would give chase and then give up.   The caregiver’s duties do not end the same way.  In fact, they do not “end” unless we place some “ending points” into the caregiver’s life.  That is the role of self care, to provide end points such as respite and small moments.  That’s why it’s necessary to spread the caregiving load so it doesn’t fall on one person.  That is why we need to enlist family to give caregivers this kind of support. Otherwise, the caregiver can be sitting quietly in religious services and the Cortisol response “alarms” for no exterior reason. We need to advocate for caregivers to be recognized in the medical arena. Learn more by taking our course; Preparing to Parent Your Parent.