Senior Sidekicks
  • Home
    • About
    • Advocacy
    • FAQ
    • Contact
  • Consultations
    • Consultation Gift Certificate
  • Senior Care Course
    • Parenting Your Parent
  • Blogs & Articles
    • A Senior Moment
    • "A Senior Moment." - Archive
    • Article Portfolio
  • Home
    • About
    • Advocacy
    • FAQ
    • Contact
  • Consultations
    • Consultation Gift Certificate
  • Senior Care Course
    • Parenting Your Parent
  • Blogs & Articles
    • A Senior Moment
    • "A Senior Moment." - Archive
    • Article Portfolio

WHAT DOES A CARE CONSULTATION OFFER? - Part Two

4/11/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
Care consultations help families avoid getting lost in the maze of payment options for elder care.

This blog series illustrate the ways a care consultation can save families money, time and trouble. These stories are drawn from our experience with families and their elders: identifying information has been changed.

Paying for elder care is like making one’s way through a maze. In a maze, you can backtrack and take a different turn and it will only cost you time.  In elder care, the wrong move can be very costly.  

Annie’s Mother was diagnosed with cancer and needed treatment.  Following treatment, she was sent to a rehabilitation facility and then went home with help. All went well until she fell. The paid staff found her on the floor and sent her to hospital.  Annie arrived to find her Mother in the ER. Tests showed she was dehydrated, poorly nourished and had not taken all of her medications.  

The hospital was overcrowded and so was the ER. Mother didn’t even get a room in the ER for 24 hours. The staff began treatments and Mother improved. Rather than sending her home, Annie decided it would be better to return her Mother to the rehabilitation facility. Annie also considered moving her Mother so she would not live alone to avoid future problems.  This was especially important because Annie’s job took her all over the state. In an emergency, she might not return quickly.  

Annie didn’t review her Mother’s Medicare coverage. Mother had only been in the ER under observation.  She had never been admitted to the hospital.  Medicare covered many parts of her ER treatment.  If her Mother had been admitted and had stayed long enough in hospital, she would have qualified for rehabilitation: she didn’t. Annie received the Medicare determination letter several weeks later: not covered. Annie returned her mother home, with more help, medication supervision, and more worry while she was on the road.  She had to pay $18,000 to cover that stay. Consultations don’t cost, they pay.



0 Comments

WHAT DOES A CONSULTATION OFFER?  Part One

4/7/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
This blog series illustrates the ways a care consultation can save families money, time and trouble.  These stories are drawn from our experience with actual families and their elders: identifying information has been changed.

Consultations help avoid mistakes; like ordered work boots but getting  pink shoes with 4 inch heels

Mike emailed me about a consultation and left his phone number; I called. “It’s about my Dad, he’s been losing it since my Mom died”, Mike said.             

I asked what he meant by, ”losing it”.  Mike described his father’s problems with paying bills, keeping his place clean, and forgetting to take medicine.  I explained how our consultations worked.  

“I just want to know which nursing home to put my Dad in!” he exclaimed.  

His tone seemed irritated.  I explained that there were many kinds of care, some were covered by Medicare or Medicaid and some were not.  Consultation is about taking various measurements and to find the right fit.

Let me show you why I can’t just give you the name of a nursing home, I explained.  Suppose you ordered a pair of shoes.  When you opened the box, you found a pair of pink, 4-inch heels.  Would those work for you? Before anyone buys shoes, we learn our shoe size and decide how we will use them; for socializing or construction work.  We know this because we have purchased shoes before. Care consultations help families gather the right measurements so elder care fits their needs.

Getting the right care for someone is usually a first-time experience for families.  There are many kinds of care and different ways to pay for it.  It’s as important to take measurements in your Father’s case as it is to get the right shoe size.  It’s as important to learn if his condition might improve  or if he is unlikely to improve.  It’s really important to look at how his care will be paid. I can help you get those measurements and prepare you for the process. Our consultation cost is a fraction of the cost of care.  You could return the pink, 4-inch heels for a refund: you can’t get a refund on elder care.


0 Comments

A Valentine From the Beyond - Caregivers and Grief

3/9/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
My youngest sister had struggled with cancer since 2019.  She passed away on January 28th  2022 @ 2:53pm.  

Valentine’s Day was approaching but it was the last thing on my mind.  I remembered that she had always sent me a Valentine; usually home made.  She was the only member of my family who did.  Many times I had told her she didn’t have to go to all that trouble but she did it anyway, year after year.  This year would be different, there would be no Valentines.  

Then our doorbell rang and my husband answered.  All I could do was hear their conversation. Our caller was a little neighbor girl.  The sound of her small voice reminded me of my sister. She presented us with some cookies and her hand-painted card. “I thought you would like these;” she said. We had never received a Valentine gift from them before. My husband handed the bag to me.  I ate a cookie and cried; it was just like my sister used to make.   This gift was “ordered” from beyond and arrived at my lowest point: one final Valentine. Love is stronger than death.

This event made me think about my work with caregivers.  How does the process of caregiving’s end impact them?  A caregiver, whose recipient dies, has a loss of role as well as a loss of a loved one. Society isn’t always helpful; “Why don’t you go out and celebrate your freedom?” [from caregiving] How would you respond when you’re in mourning?  

Some people inquire about the caregiver’s next career move; “Are you going to go get a job?” Many caregivers have had to give up promotions, to preserve their caregiving role. They re-enter the workforce with a financial deficit. Caregivers need to re-enter the workforce but how and where?  What skills do they need now? Where are the new jobs?  Thus, former caregivers face a more uncertainly-funded retirement.  Wouldn’t you feel lost when you realized that work-life, and former friends have moved on?  Do these conditions make a former caregiver want to celebrate; or to wonder where to turn? (!)

Still, there is the ever-present grief.  Some cultures weave that process into a ceremony. Ceremony helps in two ways, it commemorates and encapsulates. Commemoration seems obvious; like saying a prayer or lighting a candle.  Encapsulation isn’t as obvious.  Once the candle is lit or the prayer said; it’s done.  Once a physical action expressed the emotions of the Caregiver its performance holds those feelings.  Caregivers need to be honored and recognized for their loss as well their service.  The emotion becomes action; as the action contains the emotion.  Giving emotion a place and holding it, frees energy to devote to caregiver re-entry.

Paid caregiving staff would benefit from recognition as well.  I attended a funeral for an elder who had full-time care at home.  The family, wisely, invited the former care staff to the funeral and the meal-of-condolence afterwards.  Family members introduced the staff to various mourners.  That’s not only kind; it’s necessary.  Paid staff can become attached to their elders.  “They also serve who only stand in wait”* (on the elder).  Would our society attract better caregiving staff if they knew they would be recognized for their service?  

Transitions from caregiving require time, and money.  That same family paid each staff member for two weeks in addition to their time at the funeral.  Hooray!  They need to find another job.  How would one leap to a new job in 24 hours?  

Former family caregivers find their service is considered “time-off” by employers! Really! Managing elder care takes skill and coordination; valuable traits.  Getting the elder to cooperate with care is an art; like that of negotiation.  It’s time to see caregiving as a valuable experience.

Family caregivers need the same things but there is no system for them.   Military personnel, re-entering civil life, can get help with training, and support.  These processes of loss, grief and rebuilding in caregivers goes unrecognized by society; leaving them isolated.

As the GIs returned from WWII, there was the 52-40 club.  Each person got $40.00 for 52 weeks.  There is no such program for former caregivers.  Why not?   Oh NO!  Such a program would cost money! Family caregivers usually serve for free.  They SAVE over $10 billion dollars for our society.  If we had to fund that care, our country would be in serious trouble.  If we had a caregiver re-entry program it would be a WIN, WIN, WIN.

First Win:  We could incorporate already-existing social structure like churches, to incorporate caregiving recognition and support into their mission. Former caregivers could pass on their acquired wisdom to support new caregivers.

Second Win:  Money spent on education for former caregivers pays off in better wages earned and more tax revenue for society

Third Win: Former caregivers, who are better able to recoup their lost earnings, would be less likely to require public assistance in their old age.

A former caregiver re-entry program wouldn’t cost, it would pay.

* A Tale of Two Cities, Charles Dickens



0 Comments

What Would You Choose: To Hear Or To Be Covid-Safe?

6/8/2020

0 Comments

 
Picture
Covid-19 has required us to protect ourselves by wearing masks. Sadly, masks interfere with hearing aids.  Thus, those who want to hear must contend with protection that makes hearing aids come loose, fall out of the ear, or tangled with the hearing device. That frustration could lead to quitting the mask or quitting the hearing aids.  

We need both. Numerous research articles have documented the connection between maintaining one’s hearing and keeping one’s memory. Hearing aids are for more than hearing.  On the other hand, the CDC guidelines are quite strict about wearing a mask to protect ourselves from Covid-19.  We will need masks until we can develop an effective treatment and or a vaccine. That could be years.

In Help! My Face Mask Is Getting in the Way of My Hearing Aid, AARP offers some ideas. While these might do for now, we should consider developing an easy-to-use, simple, device that does the job. If we can develop safety pins and zipper; we make a better device.


0 Comments

Flattening the Loneliness Curve In Older Americans

5/24/2020

0 Comments

 
Picture
Senior health studies show that social isolation is as important health as flattening the Corona-19 virus infection curve in seniors. 

OPINION: It’s Time to Flatten the Loneliness Curve for Older Americans, by Marc Freedman and John Gomperts, was published in Next Avenue, April 20, 2020.  The article discusses the impact of social isolation on elder health. This factor was an issue before Covid-19.  However, the quarantine has made their social isolation even worse. The article references other countries’ methods of recognizing and responding to social isolation and encouraging elder social engagement.  It offers several possible methods to facilitate the development of programs in the USA as engines to promote a better quality of life for seniors and for society in general.


Did you know that grants were made last year to develop a Social Isolation Task Force and create a public education program?  These grants were offered to all the state agencies that operate under the mandate of The Older Americans Act.  

 I was on one of those task forces in my state.  The assumption was the public wasn’t aware of the magnitude of social isolation amongst elders.  Another assumption was the public wasn’t aware of the effects of social isolation on senior health and cost of care.
 
Covid-19 changed all that.  We‘ve all had a crash course in the experience of social isolation: the Stay-at-Home orders. We’ve seen people reacting, sometimes threatening violence, in a push-back against such measures.  Children have suffered socially, emotionally and in their education as a result of being isolated from friends and school. To combat Covid-19, social isolation was one of the few measures we could employ.  While we intended to combat the virus with isolation, we didn’t intend to isolate elders before Covid-19.  Our society’s systems just didn’t address elder social isolation.

Our society did not face social isolation before because of three factors; our original population, our history, and our lack of a collective memory experience.

Our population was largely imported, usually young adults and their children.  Later, they might send for the elders in the old country, or not.  A sea voyage could be quite stressful on an older person.  Thus, young people settled here.  Later, another generation of young people left for the next new frontier.   Our history shows that elders were left behind; again, and again.  As a result, our focus was a succession of new frontiers.  The USA never developed a role or task for elders.  Today, our old frontier is closed.  It’s time to bring society into the new social frontier: one in which we recognize we are a multi-generational country. There are gifts from each generation.  We need to develop a role, and a function that recognizes the value of elders: a living history, perspective and experience.

We also lack a collective memory of the elder’s journey. We all remember things from our childhood; many of us may not “remember” things from our elder hood; unless we have made that journey ourselves.   Society hadn’t experienced certain aspects of aging, like social isolation, until now.   We should view stay-at-home orders as our chance to learn what life is like for seniors who are forced to stay-at-home.

What puts elders in that position?  Their health may not permit frequent trips outside the home.  Other elders are trapped at home because they can no longer drive.  Public transportation may be too infrequent, too strenuous, or non-existent.  Some elders find that vision or hearing problems interfere with socializing.  We have few forums in which all generations come together.  Religious institutions fill some of that gap but they can’t cover all the bases.  Our neighborhoods are often age-segregated.  Schools group children into smaller age cohorts: this is not the era of the all-ages, one-room school house.  We build age-segregated housing only for elders.  How is anyone to learn about the elder journey if our opportunity for observation and interaction are taken away?

Covid-19 has given us a gift in disguise; we all shared some of the elders’ social isolation predicament.  We reacted vehemently to these restrictions on ourselves.  Now we know what they feel.  The recommendations made in this article should be implemented.  Let’s learn from this.   As the old song says; ”Someday, some d-a-a-y, we’ll be together.  Yes we will, yes we will...”


0 Comments

Keeping In Touch With Elders In An Era Of No-Touching

4/27/2020

0 Comments

 
Picture

A daughter commented that she had not been able to visit her parent because the facility was “locked down” to prevent the viral spread from Covid.  She could only drop his snacks off at the door.  She worried. No matter how many times she explained, she still couldn’t get him to understand.

Many elders and their adult children face this dilemma.  All facilities are closed to visitation: even when the elder is dying!  The more frail the elder, the less likely they can manage total separation.  Seniors need tangible connections; touch, sight and hearing.   

How do we keep in touch in an era of no-touch?  Families often bring presents to these visits, yet; it’s the present of their presence that elders crave.  So, how do we convey presence when we can’t be present?  

KEEP IT TANGIBLE:  E-cards are nice but a classic greeting card is tangible.Your loved one can hold it or look at it repeatedly. Tuck a greeting card into a bag of groceries or a bunch of flowers.  The facility staff can point to it to remind them that you are keeping in touch.

MAIL CARDS:  It helps support our postal service and your loved one. Getting mail is a big event in care facilities.  It’s not how fancy the card, it’s how often you provide a reminder that you care.

TRY PRINTED PHOTOS: These are more tangible.  Perhaps you got your loved one a cell phone and sent them pictures.  That wasn’t their early experience.  For decades, today’s elders only had the paper option.  When you send a shiny paper photo it resonates.  Photos used to require going to a studio, posing,  and were made for special occasions.  Photos were important.  So printed photos carry an important message from you; “You are important to me”.

Children’s crayon drawings carry the unique, tangible message.  They are especially important if the drawings are labeled with the child’s name, date, and something about the picture.  That way, the staff can point out the picture later, when the elder says they think they’re forgotten.

WHAT’S THEIR FRAME OF MIND: We’ve all had a crash course about pandemics.  Elders may not have paid as much attention to the news.  Some have turned news off altogether.  98+% of today’s elders weren’t alive during that last pandemic in 1918.  It isn’t part of their experience.  They can’t relate to the scale of lock down necessary to contain a pan-demic. Some may have known families who were quarantined when they were children; but they are not familiar with a whole society in quarantine.  
 
So what do you tell them about why you can’t be there?  Start by asking them what they know about today’s news.  If they have been following the news, use their level of information to determine what you share about your being away.
 
If they don’t seem to know; try a simpler explanation: you “have to be away for awhile”.  You’ve taken vacations, trips and returned.  This is just another time away.  Promise only that you will return.  Say that in a card as well as on the phone.  Say it often. “ Someday, some way, we’ll be together”.   That’s what the song says and that’s my prayer for all of us.








0 Comments

Corona Virus-19 Is Not Your Parents' Quarantine.

3/24/2020

0 Comments

 
Picture
Corona Virus-19 is not your parents' quarantine.  Before vaccines, quarantines were a common event.  Your senior may have lived through several of them. with the passage of time, the anxiety and social disruption may have been lost.  All that remains in their minds is that they survived.  I've met some seniors who think this is just another flu.  They believe that, because they've lived this long, they're immune.  It's been a challenge to convince them that this virus has an impact closer to that of the 1918 Spanish flu.  I usually ask them if their parents ever discussed the Spanish Flu.  Then I draw the comparison.

 I've also had to explain that our immune systems change with age. We all know hair turns white/gray with age but not all changes are equally visible.  The senior may not realize that they may succumb to this disease because their immune systems are affected with age.

 I share these points to forewarn caregivers that your senior my see this disease very differently than you do.  What's in your senior's mind?  If the senior doesn't get the message, they will be more likely to get the disease. 

Stay well and set a good example; wash your hands with your senior.

Thanx, 

Sara
0 Comments

What Happens When There’s No One To Care For Our Elders?

8/31/2019

0 Comments

 
Picture
“‘This will be catastrophic’: Maine families face elder boom, worker shortage in preview of nation’s future,” from The Washington Post, could be a description of a dystopian movie: it’s not. This is the state of State of Maine, which is the harbinger of things to come for the rest of these 50 United States.  We need to listen to this alarm.

We’re facing a demographic dilemma: not enough young people to fill all jobs, even those outside of elder care.  We need them now!  Where do we get them?  We can’t hire them because they were never born!  Thus, current workers remain on the job long after it’s safe or appropriate.  Results include accumulated injuries to workers who keep doing injurious jobs. Even the field of healthcare can’t find enough workers or volunteers.

The State of Maine has learned that there is no one available to fill home care jobs.  There is no one to fill care facility jobs either.   Professional fields have the same problem; many of the number of nurses and doctors are now older and there are not enough of them it is  and there’s no one to replace them.

Medicaid pays far less than other employers, drawing the few workers away from elder care. However, simply raising wages won’t help if there are not enough people to hire!

Maine is already experiencing the results, some facilities closed altogether.  Others closed admissions for months due to too few staff.  No vacancies in care facilities means families must place their loved ones wherever they can.  A loved one far away means a l-o-n-g commute to visit.  Younger, disabled people also get caught in this care-crunch.  If no one is available, some adult children try to fill the gap. Those care gaps further pressure the few remaining working adult children.

Keep this number in mind:

*By 2030, 1 in 5 Americans will be over 60.  

*The number of seniors will DOUBLE between 2015 and 2050.  

*The senior population over 85 will TRIPLE in that same period. 
 
**We will need 7.8 MILLION new people to fill these jobs.  Since we didn’t give birth to them; where do we get them?

This isn’t as riveting as a news story as a fire, or a shooting, that’s the problem.  The numbers of affected families are there, but they aren’t collected (aggregated).  This problem is spread everywhere.

We’re in a presidential campaign yet no candidate is talking about this national problem. Why? This demographic dilemma is happening one family at a time: Your family is next.



0 Comments

    Author

     "A Senior Moment" is written by Ms. Sara Lieber, owner of Senior Sidekicks. Ms. Lieber has over 30 years of experience in senior care.


    Archives

    April 2022
    March 2022
    November 2021
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    December 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    December 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    1918 Spanish Flu
    AARP
    Adult Children
    Age
    Aging Population
    Alocohol
    Alzheimer's Association
    Alzheimr's
    American Society On Aging
    Art
    Bbc
    Bbc Worklife
    Blog
    Bosses
    Campaign
    Care
    Caregivers
    Caregivers Guilt
    Caregiver Shortage
    Caregiving
    Cargiving
    Catastrophic
    CDC
    CDC Guidelines
    Changes
    Children
    Christmas
    Churches
    Classes
    Community
    Consultation
    Consulting
    Coroanavirus
    Coronavirus
    Corona Virus 19
    Corona Virus-19
    Cortisol
    Counselors
    Course
    Covid
    Crazy
    Dementia
    Depressoin
    Designer Drugs
    Downsizing
    Drugs
    Drug Testing
    Elder Boom
    Elderly
    Employer
    Employers
    Employment
    Face Masks
    Faith
    Families
    Family Medical Leave Act
    Fight Or Flight Response
    FLMA
    Flu
    God
    Greeting Cards
    Grief
    Guilt
    Hanukka
    Health Complaints
    Hearing Aids
    Holidays
    Home
    Home Care
    House
    Hr
    Human Rescources
    Illinois
    Immune System
    Isolation
    Legacy
    Mail
    Maine
    Mandate
    Medicaid
    Medical Visit Companion
    Memory
    Memory Loss
    Million
    News
    Next Avenue
    Nursing Home
    Opioid Epidemic
    Opioids
    Organizations
    Paid Time Off
    Pandemic
    Parents
    Pastoral Counselors
    Performance
    Photos
    Planning
    Plans
    Polio
    Post Office
    Preparing To Parent Your Parent Course
    Presidential Campaign 2020
    Psychiatric Disorder
    PTO
    Public Education Program
    Quarantine
    Real Estate
    Realtors
    Realty
    Religious
    Retirement
    Sara Lieber
    Self Care
    Self-care
    Senior Depression
    Senior Population
    Seniors
    Senior Sidekicks
    Sheltering In Place
    Shelter In Place
    Shortage
    SHRM
    Sisters
    Social Distancing
    Social Isolation Task Force
    Solcial Isolation
    Special Occassion Service
    Special Occassion Services
    Springfield
    Stamps
    State Agencies
    Stay-At-Home Orders
    Stress
    Stress Hormone
    Stressors
    Study
    Sugar
    Sundowner
    Symptom
    Symptom Picture
    Symptoms
    Synagogues
    Thanksgiving
    The Aid & Attendance Pension Benefit
    The Older Americans Act
    Two
    United States
    United States Wages
    Unpaid Family Care
    US Mail
    U.S. Wages
    VA
    Vaccines
    Valentine's Day
    Veterans
    Veterans Financial
    Virus
    Visiting Olivia
    Visits
    Worker Shortage
    Worklife
    Young People

Proudly powered by Weebly