Senior Sidekicks
  • Home
    • About
    • Advocacy
    • FAQ
    • Contact
  • Parenting Your Parent
  • Consultations & Plans
    • Consultations
    • Medical Visit Companion Stand-by Plan
    • Medical Visit Companion Vacation Plan
  • Blogs & Articles
    • A Senior Moment
    • "A Senior Moment." - Archive
    • Article Portfolio
  • Home
    • About
    • Advocacy
    • FAQ
    • Contact
  • Parenting Your Parent
  • Consultations & Plans
    • Consultations
    • Medical Visit Companion Stand-by Plan
    • Medical Visit Companion Vacation Plan
  • Blogs & Articles
    • A Senior Moment
    • "A Senior Moment." - Archive
    • Article Portfolio

Caring for Yourself: How?  Part Two

8/20/2018

0 Comments

 
Picture
When someone advises you to, “take care of yourself”; that doesn’t explain how.  Elder caregiving is so new that some methods are still under development.  However, we know some things that work and some to avoid.  Self care does not mean a day at the spa.  For many caregivers such a day would be out of reach financially or out of time to devote to a spa.  Therefore, plan to care for yourself in moments, not hours.  Think about your life like your heart; it beats all the time.  Actually your heart takes a tiny rest between each beat that allows it keep going.  When you care for yourself in moments, you pause and continue.

Try these ideas. Put up a sign saying, I NEED A MOMENT, to remind yourself to pause.  Put up other signs family can see to remind them that you might need a moment before you can respond to their requests.  Is the person in need bleeding or on fire?  If the answer is no, then it’s OK for you to take a moment.  It’s OK to train your family to allow you to do so.  It’s OK for you to ignore repeated pleas for your attention (for a moment).  Training takes time but you’re worth it.

What do you do in that moment?  Be sure you are safe.  If you’re up on a ladder, get down first.  Focus on something blank, like a wall or the ceiling.  Breathe, deeply, through your nose, hold and count to 3 or 4.  Let  your breath out through your mouth but slowly; 1-2-3-4.  Now, if you can afford the time, try looking at something peaceful; out a window, at a picture, or at some memento that is meaningful to you.  Breathe again the same way.

Many caregivers respond with; “I don’t have time to …”   You’re right, time is at a premium.  Most caregivers find themselves in that role at the same point they also have the house-the spouse-the kids-the job-the pets and MOM! You have a lot on your plate.  Sometimes caregivers believe they can wait until they have time.  By waiting until later, the damage from lack of self care will have done its worst.  Undoing damage is much harder. The best intervention is prevention.  Prevention comes in bits of time you claim now.

Suppose you actually have a whole hour to yourself.  It’s a gift!  Ask yourself, “What refreshes me?”  Notice I didn’t say what can I eat nor where can I sit down?   Some caregivers eat to cope with stress.  We need nourishment but not that way.  Rhythmic movement, like walking, can help us feel less worn and is surprisingly refreshing.  If you can’t go far; walk around the house or around the block. If you live in an apartment building, walk in the hall.   “Go get the mail”, that errand will buy you a few minutes.  Try to set a self care routine just as you have set other routines with child care or at work.  Routines help us get things done without doing us in.    

Some things to avoid include sugar and alcohol.  The stress hormone, Cortisol, takes sugar and converts it into weight around your middle.  Sugar may not be sweet; baked goods convert to sugar.  As part of a balanced meal they’re fine; as a snack, not so much.   Large amounts of food can have a numbing effect; like a Thanksgiving dinner.  When we feel numb, our minds seem to turn off.  When you see you have time and turn to the refrigerator; ask yourself why are you eating?  In a similar way, alcohol can create a numb feeling.  We believe we’re relaxed but a caregiver’s immune system is more vulnerable and needs extra protection that alcohol doesn’t provide.  Alcohol is also a depressant, which won’t help caregivers.

So how does one “turn off” the constant “list-making” that goes on in the caregiver’s mind?  Try other things.  Try relaxing teas like Passion Flower, Elder Flower or Chamomile.  Try playing some relaxing music that’s meaningful to you.  Try a rhythmic movement “dance” (try it with your partner).  Try a hot shower or better, a hot bath.  Try placing essential oil of lavender in your bedroom.  All of these set the stage for relaxation.  Develop your own mediation or routine to think about at bed time instead of a to-do list.   There are also tapes available.   So self care comes in moments you claim as your own.  To learn more ways to cope, take our course: 
Preparing to Parent Your Parent.
 
0 Comments

Has This Happened To You? Has Your Health Changed Doing Caregiving?

7/23/2018

0 Comments

 
Picture
If you developed symptoms such as poor sleep, changed appetite, or more serious conditions, you’re not alone.  According to The Executive Summary: Caregiving In The US 17%-35% of caregivers report poorer health.

Caregiving creeps. At first it’s the occasional errand.  Then it’s dealing with financial matters. Other senior caregiving issues pile on; unpaid bills, medications ignored, and inaccurate reports about doctor appointments. You find that you’re monitoring medications, and accompanying your senior to the doctor.  All the while, there are other parts of your life; your spouse and children, your job and home.  Trying to do all these tasks as a caregiver while also keeping up with your own life becomes a monumental job!    Something has to give.

Where are you in all these duties?  Many caregivers believe they can take care of themselves “when they have time”.  Caution: caregiving you have no more time.  Self care is vital to preserving yourself, your family, your job, and your sanity.  Senior Sidekicks’ course; Preparing to Parent Your Parent  explains why caregivers need to do self-care.  Senior Sidekicks knows how busy you are.  This course is convenient; delivered to your area: your church.  We offer it at convenient times; evenings, weekends, or lunch hours.  You receive 5 classes and a manual for one low price.  If you bring your significant other, they pay half price.  Call Senior Sidekicks today to learn more. 217-787-5866.

0 Comments

A Tale of Two Sisters’ Retirement Plans

9/17/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Once upon a time there were two sisters.  Mary built a cabin by the lake with her husband.  They sold their house in town upon retirement.  The other, Beth, also wanted a “cabin in the woods”.  She and her husband planned to retire there as soon as their youngest child finished college.
 
Things did not turn out as planned.  Mary developed lung cancer.  She needed to be closer to medical care. Those winding lake roads were not plowed in the winter.  She wrote that “The bugs never stop” at the lake.  Her condition made it hard for her to keep up with such a house.  Since the lake house was new, they had almost no equity yet, and they had to sell.  They took a loss as they moved back to town.

Beth had a different set of problems.  Her husband developed some odd behaviors after he retired.  She found it uncomfortable keeping house with him underfoot.  She confessed to her daughter that she was considering a divorce!  Thankfully, they had not built a cabin in the woods or they would have had no relief from each other.   

Her husband finally enrolled in a program and participated in local archeology projects.  One day the Sherriff’s car drove into her driveway.  He announced that her husband had died of a heart attack on one of these projects.  Now, Beth was a widow with a child still in college!  Thankfully, they had not started to build this cabin.  How would she have managed to finish its construction and sale by herself?  She didn’t want to live so far from town now that she was alone. 

What can we learn from these sisters?
  1. Have you tried out the arrangements before you committed to them?  People think they will enjoy painting pictures all day or sitting by the water.  That may work for a short time, not for all time.  Even artists need to see others.  People picture the “postcard” of sitting by the lake.  Postcards don’t show the mosquitoes.  They don’t show the maintenance load like plowing your road yourself, or buying a back-up generator in case the power goes out.  In Mary’s case, she had to keep her breathing machine running at all times.
  2. Did you assume your health will always be as it is now?  We grow and change all of our lives, that does not stop with age.  Is it better to consider a living situation with fewer steps, less lawn, or less exterior maintenance?  It’s hard to face one’s own morbidity.  I know this from experience.  However, facing now and making realistic plans can save losses, financial and personal later.
  3. Have you researched your own family’s health history?  It turned out that Beth’s father-in-law had also died of a sudden heart attack at almost the same age as her husband.  Mary’s mother had suffered from lung issues all her life.  At the next family gathering, ask some questions.  Do some research.  You will have a few clues about things you would need to consider in order to protect your health.  What’s a retirement without health?
  4. Are you sure you want to do that all the time?   We all have hobbies and interests.  We pursue them in our younger years around our other responsibilities; work, family, community.  Imagine you were served only your favorite foods three times a day.  Would they remain your favorite foods?  Research shows that new experiences keep people more alert.  What haven’t you tried yet?  What else could you do with the skills you learned?
  5. Are you the same people you were years ago?  Try going away for an extended stay just the two of you.  Discover who that person is that sits across the table from you.  Please don’t run to divorce!  Perhaps you each need some space to pursue individual interests.  Perhaps your marriage “equation” of responsibilities needs to be rebalanced. (Beth was much happier when her husband found his interest in archeology).
Retirement planning classes cover financial issues.You need to consider these social issues as well. P.S. one of these sisters was my Mother. Her experiences became my retirement planning “class”.
0 Comments

    Author

     "A Senior Moment" is written by Ms. Sara Lieber, owner of Senior Sidekicks. Ms. Lieber has over 30 years of experience in senior care.


    Archives

    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    December 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    December 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    1918 Spanish Flu
    AARP
    Adult Children
    Age
    Aging Population
    Alocohol
    Alzheimer's Association
    Alzheimr's
    American Society On Aging
    Art
    Bbc
    Bbc Worklife
    Bosses
    Campaign
    Caregivers
    Caregivers Guilt
    Caregiver Shortage
    Cargiving
    Catastrophic
    CDC
    CDC Guidelines
    Changes
    Children
    Christmas
    Churches
    Classes
    Community
    Consulting
    Coronavirus
    Corona Virus 19
    Corona Virus-19
    Cortisol
    Counselors
    Course
    Crazy
    Dementia
    Depressoin
    Designer Drugs
    Downsizing
    Drugs
    Drug Testing
    Elder Boom
    Elderly
    Employer
    Employers
    Employment
    Face Masks
    Faith
    Families
    Family Medical Leave Act
    Fight Or Flight Response
    FLMA
    Flu
    God
    Greeting Cards
    Guilt
    Hanukka
    Health Complaints
    Hearing Aids
    Holidays
    Home
    House
    Hr
    Human Rescources
    Illinois
    Immune System
    Isolation
    Legacy
    Mail
    Maine
    Mandate
    Medicaid
    Medical Visit Companion
    Memory
    Memory Loss
    Million
    News
    Next Avenue
    Nursing Home
    Opioid Epidemic
    Opioids
    Organizations
    Paid Time Off
    Pandemic
    Parents
    Pastoral Counselors
    Performance
    Photos
    Planning
    Plans
    Post Office
    Preparing To Parent Your Parent Course
    Presidential Campaign 2020
    Psychiatric Disorder
    PTO
    Public Education Program
    Quarantine
    Real Estate
    Realtors
    Realty
    Religious
    Retirement
    Sara Lieber
    Self Care
    Self-care
    Senior Depression
    Senior Population
    Seniors
    Senior Sidekicks
    Sheltering In Place
    Shelter In Place
    Shortage
    SHRM
    Sisters
    Social Distancing
    Social Isolation Task Force
    Solcial Isolation
    Special Occassion Service
    Special Occassion Services
    Springfield
    Stamps
    State Agencies
    Stay-At-Home Orders
    Stress
    Stress Hormone
    Stressors
    Study
    Sugar
    Sundowner
    Symptom
    Symptom Picture
    Symptoms
    Synagogues
    Thanksgiving
    The Aid & Attendance Pension Benefit
    The Older Americans Act
    Two
    United States
    United States Wages
    Unpaid Family Care
    US Mail
    U.S. Wages
    VA
    Veterans
    Veterans Financial
    Virus
    Visits
    Worker Shortage
    Worklife
    Young People

Proudly powered by Weebly